Thursday, November 25, 2010

Best. Blooper. Ever.

And I'm thankful that I once read this, although I wish I'd kept the pocket-sized magazine it was in, which I picked up in an Oxford department store in 1977. Called "Getting Married," it was little more than an excuse for advertisements for the china, glass, and linens that get onto middle-class wedding lists. But it did have a small section addressing certain relationship issues, purporting to be the answers to real letters.

One hapless (and blatantly fictitious) male had supposedly written to confess his fear of embarrassment when, on his wedding night, his blushing bride discovered he was circumcised.* (Not until then? This was the 1970s, post-Pill, pre-HIV. Told you he was fictitious.)

Despite the intervening years, I can remember the answer virtually verbatim, and I swear this is true. The advisor replied (with statistical inaccuracy):
"I can't think why you would feel embarrassed about being circumcised. Perhaps as many as half the men in Britain have been circumcised . . . and there is certainly no drawback to this as far as lovemaking is concerned."

*At this time in the UK, less than 20% of men would have been circumcised, and the number has decreased since. Although, come to think of it, how in this scenario would his virginal wife know the difference?

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